


so give me a smile (listen to my heart)

by iamnotbrianmay



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alpha Freddie, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, But Brian is there to Comfort him, Fluff, Freddie is an idiot, Idiots in Love, Insecure Freddie, Insecurity, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Brian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23389597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotbrianmay/pseuds/iamnotbrianmay
Summary: In an interview, someone asks Brian what the thing that he likes the most about a person is and Brian knows instantly. There is nothing that is more important to Brian that a nice smile. One that lights up the room, and makes you feel warm and mushy inside.And to Freddie, who has been told his whole life that his smile is less than perfect, that sounds like a death sentence.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 5
Kudos: 76





	so give me a smile (listen to my heart)

Freddie likes to think he is not a vain person. He likes to wear makeup, and don on beautiful clothes that draw everyone’s attention. He loves it when people compliment his looks or swoon over his perfectly manicured hands and straightened hair. However, he has never been vain. He likes to think of it as compensation for his… less than _ pleasant _ features. 

He knows he isn’t exactly the epitome of beauty, not even close to it, but he likes to think that everything else he does makes up for his lack of beauty. It’s not even that he is ugly as a whole. In fact, he knows that he could easily be one of the most beautiful people around if it wasn’t for his rather unattractive set of front teeth. 

It used to bother him a lot more if he was being honest. Back when the only pretty thing about himself was that he had presented as an Alpha, and he lacked several years of practised confidence. Back then, he would even refuse to talk as long as he was able to hide his teeth. Now it only bothers him when he allows it to bother him, which is not often. Even less now that he has someone to impress. 

If being the ugly duckling had ever taught him something, it was that confidence is a man’s best friend. The more confident you are, the prettier you look. And boy did he need to look beautiful. 

His feelings for Brian May had started out as a silly crush, which slowly grew into an infatuation, then transformed into genuine interest, and finally became full fledge love. Now, a month into accepting his defeat, and finally giving in to courting Brian as best as he could, he finds that he actually might have a legitimate shot with the guitarist. The longing glances, the lingering hands, the heartfelt compliments and long nights of heart to heart conversation, had Freddie’s love grow exponentially, as well as his certainty that Brian was as smitten as he was. 

His certainty had only been reinforced by both John and Roger, who seemed to think that Brian was as lost on him as he was. Or well, that was until that morning. It hadn’t started out as a typical day, Brian had been called up for an interview now that they were gaining more fame, and he had had to leave the house at seven to get to the studio on time. They were lounging on their couch at nine, listening to the transmission when the interviewer had asked the one question that Freddie didn’t want someone to ask Brian. 

_ “What about the Alpha of your dreams? What do they have to have?”  _

Roger snorted as he stuffed another spoonful of oatmeal in his face, “I knew that was going to come up sooner or later.” 

“It’s not like anybody cares,” grumbled John. 

“Well, I care.” 

John rolled his eyes at Freddie, “You only care because you want to get into his pants. “ 

“And what about it?” 

“Shut up,” said Roger as he turned up the volume to the television, “I can’t hear him over you two arguing.” 

Freddie turned back towards the television to see Brian rock forward in his chair. He had one of those dazzling smiles that had stolen Freddie’s heart, “—  _ I don’t know if there is one thing that I am looking for in a partner, but yeah, a pretty smile is probably the most important part of the physical aspect. Everything else is secondary when the person has a smile that lights up the room.” _

It was strange how something so innocent and frankly endearing (Brian was rocking back and forth in his chair while sporting a shy little smile and a light blush, what could be more endearing than that?) broke Freddie’s heart into a million pieces. He instantly closed his mouth, stoping the stupid, lovesick, smile that had spread across his face when Brian’s interview had started.

Had he really been reading the signs wrong? Had he been stupid enough to think that Brian was actually into him? The signs had been there, the blushing, the touching, the loving gazes and endearing little quirks that only happened around Freddie. But he wasn’t stupid, as much as he liked to make the world believe. He knew to take a hint, and that was a hint if he had ever seen one. 

He didn’t hear much about the interview from that moment on. Not really. He had been so sure about his place with Brian, about his feelings being requited, that now that he knew they weren’t, he didn’t quite know how to behave. He had even bought Brian the perfect first gift for courting. Something heartfelt and sweet that would go to show how Freddie was planning on treating Brian for the rest of his life. The woollen socks with little hedgehogs stitched on them had cost him a fortune, but he was sure that with them Brian, a someone who was very nesh, could be able to stay warm when he needed it. It had taken him hours to think about that gift, and now it seemed like he would have to throw it away or save them until Brian’s birthday. At least that way, he wouldn’t need to face the embarrassment of being rejected. 

He was only taken out of his thoughts when he heard Roger clap, “Well, that was a fabulous interview. It will do wonders for the album— Freddie, mate, are you alright?” 

He blinked twice, trying to wipe the look of disappointment in his face, then turned back to look at Roger, “Oh yes, I was just thinking about the fact that the label will just want another album as soon as possible.” 

John winced, “Don’t even remind me. I might throw myself out of the window.” 

They talked for a little after that, and Freddie did his best to take his mind off the socks stuffed in his drawer, and the hope and love that had been squashed inside him. He excused himself once the conversation was over, and walked over to his room to mourn about his stupidity in peace. 

Of course, Brain wasn’t interested in him. It was hard enough to find someone that would give him the time of the day to even flirt with; it was quite stupid of him to think that the lovely, beautiful, Omega would be into him. According to what Brian had just said on national TV the thing he valued the most, the thing that made everything secondary to what a person could be, was something that Freddie would never be able to give to him. A pretty smile. 

It was like he was being thrown back in time to when the used to be a little boy and people would mock him. Told him that no Omega would ever want him. Not with teeth like those. It took him back to all of those times where he tried to fix his teeth with his mother’s nail file, only to wind up not being able to eat because of how sensitive his teeth felt. He hated that one little comment, one little question, had him thinking back on those times which he had tried to stuff away so that he never had to think about it again. 

Freddie doesn’t know when he falls asleep, only that he is woken up by the sound of an opening door. Cold dread fills him when he remembers that Brian, (sweet, lovely, brilliant, Brian) is his  _ roommate  _ and that he will probably see Freddie on the bed feeling miserable and ask questions. It isn’t like him to leave his friends be sad, Freddie knows this, yet there was a time when he thought that Brian’s treatment meant that he loved him. 

_ Stupid _ , he should have known better. 

The bed dips under Brian’s weight when the younger man sits down beside’s Freddie’s head and runs his finger through his hair. He doesn’t want to pull back, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to feel the hurt which is currently twisting up in his gut every time that Brian runs his fingers through his hair. Oh lord, Freddie had been so sure. So,  _ so _ , sure. 

“Roger told me you were upset about something.” 

Freddie scoffs, “Well, tell that rotter that it’s none of his business. I can be upset if I want to.” 

Brian let out a soft tsking sound, “I never said you couldn’t be. I just want to make sure that I can fix it.” 

His heart swells at the words, and he feels like crying. It sucks terribly that Brian, out of all people, was the one that captured his heart. The guitarist is so soft, so sweet, so considerate, that there is little hope for Freddie’s crush to go away. Brian is just too perfect, and unobtainable for Freddie.

“Nothing to fix, darling. I’m alright.”

“Well if you say so,” Freddie felt the bed shift, and Brian rises from his spot. The heartache lessened a bit, but not enough for him to stop feeling like shite. He heard the soft thump of shoes being thrown to the other side of the room, and then Brian was touching his back again, “Scooch.” 

“What?” 

“Cuddling always helps when you feel under the weather.” 

“Brian—” 

“Scooch.” 

Freddie, stupidly, obliged. He let brian tuck himself behind Freddie, nuzzling his neck and throwing an arm around his waist. If Brian planned to make him feel better, it was so not working. He could only feel longing alongside the pain, a deep and terrible emptiness that he wanted to feel with Brian, and everything that Brian represented. He didn’t realise he was crying until Brian started to hum a song under his breath, trying to get him to calm down. 

Freddie had never been one to follow social norms or anything similar, but the Omega comforting him made him think about the fact that he must be the shittiest Alpha in history. He should be the one doing the singing and making his Omega happy, not the other way around. Except that Brian was not, and would never, be his Omega. Not if he continued to look as he did, anyway. 

Once Freddie calmed down (an eternity later) Brian pressed a light kiss to his temple, trying to turn Freddie around. However, he didn’t want to look at Brian. Not when his face was puffy and red from crying on top of his most glaring flaws. He didn’t want to face the man he had once thought about courting while looking like nothing he would actually date. 

Brian seemed to give up on trying to coax Freddie into looking at him and simply pressed a kiss to his cheek. Almost as if he couldn’t resist. It made the singer feel confused, more than anything. Brian didn’t act like this with his other friends, at least not while Freddie was around. Much less did Brian act like this with other Alphas. It was hard to think about why he would do these kinds of things if he didn’t like Freddie, but at the same time, Freddie couldn’t see how he could. 

Freddie had many good things, amongst them, however, was most definitely not his smile. 

“What do you mean?” 

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _

He had said that out loud. 

“Freddie, this isn’t about that stupid interview, is it?” 

He had two options here. Either run away and never talk to Brian or the rest of the band again or face the fact that he had foolishly let himself say stupid things. If there was one thing that he didn’t want Brian to know now was that Freddie was absolutely, and irreversibly, gone for him. There would be no hiding it if he were to confess that the reason why he was crying in his bedroom was that Brian had said that he liked lovely smiles and Freddie didn’t have one. 

“Oh, Freddie, come on, look at me.” 

But Freddie didn’t. As childish as it was, he would much rather die than look at Brian at the moment. He felt Brian arrange himself, then sigh. Seconds later, he grabbed Freddie from under his arms and hauled him up so that they were looking at each other. Freddie stared at Brian with wide eyes, trying to understand was he was doing, before the younger man leaned forward and pressed their lips together. 

“You stupid man,” once the kiss ended Freddie was left even more dumbfounded than before, his brain not quite working the way it was supposed to, “how could you think I was talking about anyone else but you? You’ve got a lovely smile.” 

“Me?” That made Freddie recoil, shame burning in his chest, “Don’t make fun of me, Brian. I know we often like to say mean stuff to rile each other up, but this is not something you can joke about.” 

It was Brian’s turn to look dumbfounded, “Joke about?” 

“Yes!” Now Freddie was fuming, it was one thing to break his heart, but make fun of him was so out of line. He jumped out of Brian’s grip and walked towards the door, “Look, it’s fine if you don’t like me. I can live with that. But I can’t deal with you making fun of me. Fuck off.” 

“Freddie—” 

“No! I swear to God, I will throw you out of this room if you don’t take that back.” 

“Freddie, what—?” 

“ _ NOW!”  _

_ “Freddie Mercury.”  _

_ “ _ Don’t _ ‘Freddie Mercury’  _ me!” 

“Then shut up and let me talk!” 

Freddie willed his mouth shut, he didn’t quite want to hear Brian talk at the moment, but at the same time, the guitarist couldn’t really take anything back and apologise if Freddie was screaming at the top of his lungs every time he tried to speak. He turned towards Brian, arms crossed over his chest, an eyebrow raised, and lips in a thin line. It was easy to hide his teeth that way, and that was precisely what Freddie wanted. 

Brian walked over to Freddie slowly, almost as if he was approaching a wild animal. He tentatively stepped into Freddie’s space, then grabbed both of his arms, “I need you to look at me in the eyes, sweetheart. ‘Cause what I am about to say is so important and I need you to remember it.” 

Freddie nodded, not quite liking the direction in which the talk was going. He didn’t need to be ridiculed by Brian. Not when his heart was already broken into a million pieces by both the interview and the kiss they had shared. He had never thought that Brian could be purposefully mean, or hurtful, but now he seemed to be doing the utmost to ridicule Freddie. 

“You have the sweetest, most brilliant, most beautiful smile I have ever seen.” The sincerity in Brian’s voice made Freddie tear up, he didn’t think Brian would be so cruel, “I know you don’t like to show it very often, but every time you smile the room seems to light up. The world around me stops existing when you smile, and I can’t believe people made you believe anything else.” 

His feet seemed rooted to the spot, even if there was nothing he wanted to do more than run away, and he was shaking like a leaf. He reached towards his face to wipe away the tears that were threatening to spill, “I told you not to be cruel.” 

“I am not being cruel, Freddie.” Brian insisted, “it’s the truth. The thing I love the most about you is your smile.” 

“Then you must not love me at all.” 

Brian let out a humourless laugh at that declaration. It sounded cold and bitter, almost as if he was furious at something, probably at Freddie. The singer just wanted to run and hide, “Oh and you call me the blind one. Freddie, can’t you see? I’m— I—I don’t think I can actually put it into words. How much I love you. I can’t describe it.” 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“I do,” Brian pressed a kiss to Freddie’s forehead, “and I’m going to prove it if you let me. Will you let me court you?” 

“Brian, I am the Alpha,” he tried, half-heartedly, to fight against the ridiculous ideas Freddie was proposing, “I’m the one that’s supposed to court you.” 

Brian shrugged, “Well, you don’t really need to court me; I am already yours.” 

Freddie let a small giggle out, terrified of the consequences but quite convinced that Brian wouldn’t actually ask to court him if he was joking. It was a much too earnest request, much too intimate for him to be making fun of Freddie. 

He weighed the options, letting his guard down and fully looking into Brian’s eyes. They were everything but cruel. They looked at Freddie as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world, a piece of art that needed to be admired, the moon and the stars in the sky. He did want to believe that Brian was in love with him, but he couldn’t let his heart be hurt. Not when he was so deeply in love with the guitarist. 

However, the stupid, lovesick, part of him spoke up first. 

“I’ll let you, as long as you don’t break my heart.” 

Brian pressed their lips together briefly, “I would never.” 

And he wouldn’t, he just had to convince Freddie of that. 


End file.
